NIST Report on 9/11 World Trade Center Collapse Finally Wins Coveted Hugo Award

CHICAGO, IL – Chicon 7, the 70^th World Science Fiction Convention gave the National Institute of Standards and Technology (NIST) a special Hugo Award for its final report on the collapse of World Trade Center buildings 1, 2, and 7.

Published on October 26^th, 2005, the report has become a cult classic for science fiction and fantasy buffs, with its physics-defying descriptions of how steel skyscrapers can collapse symmetrically at freefall speed and pulverize in mid-air due to the magical “pancaking effect” from weakened support columns.

Richard Gage, director of the Architects and Engineers Science Fiction Fan Club, presented the award to two of the report’s authors, who accepted the retro-looking rocket via satellite with their faces hidden and voices altered for fear of being assassinated by the CIA.  They did, however, thank their editor Dr. Shyam Sunder, as well as the taxpaying fans for supporting federally funded works of fiction.

In his speech to Worldcon attendees, Mr. Gage acknowledged the importance of honoring government sponsored fantasy in helping to fabricate important myths for the masses. 

“Imaginative speculation is the hallmark of any great work of science fiction, and the NIST report is no exception.  And that is why we recognize it here tonight”, he said.

Mr. Gage also went on to say that sometimes what’s not said in a work of art is often just as important as what is said.  In the case of the NIST Report, things left up to the readers imagination include: the failure to offer any explanation as to how jet fuel and office fires could have caused molten steel to burn at nearly 2800ºF for weeks after the event, or why witnesses and first responders say they saw and heard explosions, or how multi-ton steel girders were ejected laterally up to 600ft. away, or why nanothermite was discovered in WTC dust samples, or why thousands of experts in demolition, architecture, engineering, physics, etc. etc. don’t believe a fucking word of the report, or…

But no matter.  What’s important is that the American people continue to buy it. 

Previous Hugo Awards for government sponsored fiction have been given to The Warren Commission, and the 9/11 Commission, which also won satire of the decade.

NIST officials were unavailable for comment, however, sources say they’re glad the report is finally getting the recognition it deserves.