In the suit, Farah and Corsi are claiming that the article damaged their reputations as world-class conspiracy theorists, hurt book sales, and generally made them feel like nerds for talking about aliens.  They are seeking compensation in upwards of $285 million dollars. 

"You can't just make shit up, deliberately mislead the gullible public, inhibit commerce, and make fun of people who write something you think is stupid and silly”, Farah was quoted as saying.  “This is one of the most egregious attacks on conspiracy theory that I have ever witnessed in my 30-plus year career as a conspiracy nut”, he added. 

The suit goes on to note that a significant number of people don’t believe that we ever landed on the moon, and that President Kennedy was assassinated for threatening to reveal the truth about the extra-terrestrial presence on Earth.

To be fair, it should be noted that neither Farah nor Corsi personally claim that they believe in these things, but that a significant number of others do.  In fact, they cite a recent poll revealing that over half the country believes in UFO’s and wants an independent investigation into the so-called “faked moon landing”.

Farah went on to say that, "We believe that people deserve the truth.  Even if that truth turns out to be bullshit.”  He added that, “we are suing not because we desire to restrict First Amendment-guaranteed protections to defame public figures such as ourselves, but because they hurt our feelings."

Sources close to the case, however, reveal that the real reason for the suit is that the book has been selling so well they’re flush with cash and can afford frivolous lawsuits such as these.

As of press time, Mr. Corsi, who claims to have graduated from Harvard and presumably understands that the First Amendment protects satire, has decided to exercise his Fifth Amendment right to remain silent on the matter.  Finally.

Inspired by the successful got milk? campaign created for the California Milk Processors Board (CMPB) in the early nineties, the group has licensed the original logo and launched a similar sounding got nuke? marketing offensive; it’s stated goal to allay the growing concerns of consumers over radioactive contamination.

“With blessings from both the CMPB and the advertisers who created the original got milk?, we sincerely hope that this new got nuke? campaign will be as successful for us in correcting the misperception that radiation levels are unhealthy, as it was for them in convincing the public that dairy consumption is healthy”, Marvin S. Fertel, current President and CEO of the NEI, said in a statement.  Margaret A. Hamburg of the FDA concurred, adding that, “This is a potentially explosive issue for all parties involved, and we couldn’t be happier to cowtow to the atomic energy lobbyists by lending our support for such a critical endeavor.”

The advertising campaign is an unprecedented one, in that it involves so many different agencies with oftentimes conflicting political agendas.  However, because of the unnatural nature of the crises, such seemingly strange bedfellows felt it was necessary to join forces to protect their common interests.

In fact, the term ‘strange bedfellows’ certainly applies when considering which media personalities have already signed on to endorse the campaign.  Right-wing media pundits Ann Coulter, Eric Bolling, Glenn Beck, and Rush Limbaugh, along with former Greenpeace member Patrick Moore, Gaia Theory proponent James Lovelock, climatologist James Hansen, former Merry Prankster and environmentalist Stewart Brand, writer and political activist George Monbiot, celebrity doctor Sanjay Gupta, and President Barack Obama, have all agreed to take part.  Talk about an eclectic and volatile mixture.

“It’s important that the American people realize the nuclear energy issue transcends partisan politics, and that the future of our planet depends on the public’s support for this much needed technology”, President Obama said in a press release issued today.  “Though there are obvious challenges ahead with ensuring the safety and efficacy of nuclear energy, we must be careful not to throw out the proverbial baby with the radioactive bathwater when planning our country’s future food and energy policies”, the release continued.

Supporters of the effort cite the fact that nuclear reactor safety appeals to both global warming advocates and deniers alike, and that this may be just the thing to bridge the ecological divide between the two.  Critics, of course, contend that it’s nothing more than "hot air" propaganda for multinational corporations fearful that the Fukushima disaster will destroy their respective industries. 

Regardless of which side of the fence you’re on, the got nuke? campaign appears to be here to stay.  As Mr. Fertel points out, they’ve licensed the logo for, “a million years, or for as long as it takes to assuage the public’s fears of radiation, whichever comes first.”

Though it remains to be seen how successful it will be, one thing is for sure, even when factoring in the half-life of the got nuke? ads, they'll certainly be here for long, long, long time to come.

The once mighty social networking giant, Myspace, died yesterday afternoon after a long, hard-fought battle with Zuckerberginoma, a common form of web cancer caused by the Facebook virus. It was 7.

Launched in the summer of 2003, Myspace was the first social networking site to amass a large and devoted following of people with narcissistic personality disorder. Founded by Brad Greenspan, Chris DeWolfe, Josh Berman, and Tom Anderson, Myspace mimicked many of the most popular features on Friendster, but quickly took over the rival site in number of users. With its patented Create Really Awesome Profiles Yourself (C.R.A.P.Y.) design features, it appealed to teenagers, pornstars and those who wanted to be pornstars, as well as bands with zero talent who could showcase their so-called music.

In 2005, Myspace was purchased by News Corporation for $580 million dollars and continued its dominance until 2008, when it first learned it had the Facebook virus. Seeking out both conventional and alternative treatments for the disease, Myspace tried everything, including a controversial new logo design that unfortunately failed to slow down the cancer’s progression. In 2011, it passed away peacefully surrounded by 60+ million friends.

Thanks for the add.

An online memorial service will be broadcast on YouTube where users can share their memories, moods, incriminating pictures, and grammatical errors. A final Myspace party will be held afterward at Benji’s house, while his parents are away on vacation.

In lieu of flowers, former employees request that you send donations to Find the Facebook Cure. Grief counseling will also be made available by logging on to The Web 2.0 Suicide Machine, wherein former users will be encouraged to just kill their virtual selves.

The real secret to getting rich...

"The returns have really hurt my business", said Dawn Sunshine, owner of Dawn of the New Age Bookstore in Sedona, AZ.  "My store specializes in magical thinking, and I just can't afford for people to stop believing in it.  What if all of a sudden they stopped believing in astrology, crystal healing, and Tarot cards too?  I'd be out of business."
 
Used copies of the book are piling up in libraries as well, and librarians are at a loss as to what to do with them.  "We could just put several copies of it on the shelves, like we do with Kevin Trudeau's books, but we'd still have a surplus", said Joan Mondo, Executive Director of the Detroit Public Library.   "We've tried to donate them to other public libraries, but they're having the same problem.  Since burning them is not an option, I guess we'll just have to give them to area schools."

Auction sites are also noticing an increase in sellers trying to rid themselves of the book and accompanying DVD.  Most of them, however, are only going for ninety-nine cents or less, hence, the rush to the brick and mortar outlets for a better deal.
  
A publishing phenomenon when it came out in 2006, mostly thanks to Oprah Winfrey (who claimed to have secretly used the techniques to manifest her billions), the appeal of the book seems to have worn off as of late. 

Based on the law of attraction, which states that 'like attracts like', the author claims that the greatest minds in history have all used this technique to become successful beyond their wildest dreams which, ironically, negates its basic premise.  But no matter, its message of just "think it and it will manifest", spoke to millions of Americans who hated the idea of actually having to work for their success.   Now that so many have no work at all, they're seeing the book as a way to finally make a little money to make ends meet.

Bob (not his real name), sums up what many others are feeling, "You know, I really wanted to believe that all I had to do was change my thinking to get out of poverty.  I tried thinking myself rich, I really did, but all that happened was I kept getting poorer.  Maybe by selling the book I can eat tomorrow."

Barbara Ehrenreich, author of Bright-sided: How the Relentless Promotion of Positive Thinking Has Undermined America, isn't at all surprised by the sudden turnaround.  "I find it highly ironic that the economy tanked just as people we're buying into this belief system.  I'm glad people are waking up, I'm just sad to see that it took the harsh reality of the real world for people to do so."

Calls for comment from Rhonda Byrne have so far gone unanswered.  Her rep simply stated, "Ms. Byrne cannot, according to her belief system, acknowledge anything negative or critical of her work, or anything else in the world at large for that matter."

A spokesman for the publisher Prime Time Productions did have this to say,  "We, Ms. Byrne et al, stand behind the science propounded in the book.  It's not our fault so many have failed to find success, or that the economy tanked just after its publication.  This just goes to prove what Bob Proctor said when he pointed out that only one percent have all the wealth.  They have it because they know The Secret, and you obviously don't."

Calls to other participants in the book and film have also gone unanswered, probably due to the reasons stated above, however, the film's Genie did respond by incessantly repeating the phrase, "Your wish is my command."

As of this writing Rhonda Byrne has published a sequel called, The Power, and has plans for a future compendium of New Age Thought under the title, How To Get Rich By Telling Others How To Get Rich, due out sometime next year.