OUTER SPACE - Conspiracy theorists Joseph Farah, publisher of World Nut Daily, and Jerome Corsi, author of the best selling book Capricorn One: NASA, JFK, and the Great "Moon Landing" Cover-Up, are suing the magazine Esquire, its parent company Hearst Communications, and the article's writer Mark Warren, for implying that Corsi’s book is a hoax and, therefore, being pulled from the shelves.
In the suit, Farah and Corsi are claiming that the article damaged their reputations as world-class conspiracy theorists, hurt book sales, and generally made them feel like nerds for talking about aliens. They are seeking compensation in upwards of $285 million dollars.
"You can't just make shit up, deliberately mislead the gullible public, inhibit commerce, and make fun of people who write something you think is stupid and silly”, Farah was quoted as saying. “This is one of the most egregious attacks on conspiracy theory that I have ever witnessed in my 30-plus year career as a conspiracy nut”, he added.
The suit goes on to note that a significant number of people don’t believe that we ever landed on the moon, and that President Kennedy was assassinated for threatening to reveal the truth about the extra-terrestrial presence on Earth.
To be fair, it should be noted that neither Farah nor Corsi personally claim that they believe in these things, but that a significant number of others do. In fact, they cite a recent poll revealing that over half the country believes in UFO’s and wants an independent investigation into the so-called “faked moon landing”.
Farah went on to say that, "We believe that people deserve the truth. Even if that truth turns out to be bullshit.” He added that, “we are suing not because we desire to restrict First Amendment-guaranteed protections to defame public figures such as ourselves, but because they hurt our feelings."
Sources close to the case, however, reveal that the real reason for the suit is that the book has been selling so well they’re flush with cash and can afford frivolous lawsuits such as these.
As of press time, Mr. Corsi, who claims to have graduated from Harvard and presumably understands that the First Amendment protects satire, has decided to exercise his Fifth Amendment right to remain silent on the matter. Finally.